KIRSTEN & JAKE'S SIZZLING SEX LIFE

I know! I'm sorry to put you through this, but hello! I went through the pain as well. According to the ever conscientious Star Magazine, Kirsten and Jake can't keep their paws off each other!
A source close to the couple reveals: "They spent the entire Fourth of July weekend making passionate love. Kirsten said she was totally exhausted, but that she enjoyed every minute of it!"

WTF, mate?! Do we really need to know? I mean there's nothing wrong with demonstrating their affection to one another but come on! I can't get the mental pictures of Kirsten doing that sort of thing out of my delicate head! Click here if you want to see what I mean.

*The Brunette* 7/29/2005


(23) Your Two Cents Go Here


MISCHA BARTON'S CLEAVAGE: DUST IN THE WIND



Poor girl doesn't realize that her little cupcake is being exposed. This is why you don't run while your wearing a gown like this, people! And what is she doing running on the beach with a dress like that anyway? Meh... Thanks to A Socialite's Life for the pic.

*The Brunette* 7/29/2005


(0) Your Two Cents Go Here


YOUNG FERGIE PIC




Yup, that's our little Stacey Ann Ferguson.
As much as I adore Fergie and think she's the hottest thing on the planet (besides me of course) I can't help but conclude that she has had surgery of some sort on the nasal area. Whatevs....
Courtesy of Annie Waits.

*The Brunette* 7/29/2005


(0) Your Two Cents Go Here


TINY MORSELS OF FUN!

-Nuh uh! Can't touch this.
- A new "mysterious" character will appear on Lost. The character's name is Emeka and is played by someone named Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje. The really weird thing is that my stuffed hippo that my father gave me when I was 3 has the exact same name! Isn't that creepy?!
-I wish I hadn't stumbled upon this, but alas I did. Watch the commercial for Cumming, the new fragrance.

*The Brunette* 7/28/2005


(0) Your Two Cents Go Here


FUNNY PIC OF THE WEEK



Oy! Too much Saki last night...

*The Brunette* 7/28/2005


(0) Your Two Cents Go Here


ADAM BRODY SAVES UP FOR ELEPHANT



Adam Brody who playes adorable yet annoying Seth Cohen on The OC is saving up for an elephant. He states that he loves them so much that he wants one as a pet.
Can someone please tell him that you can't have an elephant as a pet? Unless you're the Prince of Kenya, you can't just charge an elephant onto your Platinum Visa and then claim it's your pet. He's as imbecilic in real life as he is on the show.

*The Brunette* 7/28/2005


(0) Your Two Cents Go Here


TINY MORSELS OF FUN!

-I hate to break it to ya, but you're going to hell.
-Check out ghoulish screen caps of Lindsay Lohan's sex tape here.
-Check out the Panamera , Porche's new four-door, four-seat sports coupe.
-Is Scarlett Johanson preggers?
-My hump, my hump, my hump. My lovely little lumps. Check it out.

*The Brunette* 7/27/2005


(0) Your Two Cents Go Here


JESSICA SIMPSON IS SCARY



Me thinks JSimp is hot tamales, but this picture only proves that waking up to this face maybe isn't good for the eyes. She looks like a Stepford wife on Paxil. Another pic here.
Also, can her mouth get any bigger? Everytime she opnes it, I can't help but think about the reverse bear trap scene in 'Saw'. For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, you don't want to know.

*The Brunette* 7/26/2005


(2) Your Two Cents Go Here


AAAH YEAH! ANOTHER CELEB COMPARISON!


Ahh, The Neverending Story days....I loved those movies as a kid. Or maybe I just loved Johnathan Brandis. More about him later. Anyhoo, don't get me wrong-I think my pal Mischa is stunning (but her temper is out of this world), it's that...she looks like Falkor from TNES. Thanks to Thighs Wide Shut for the pic.
Ok, about Johnathan Brandis. He was pretty much the first boy I though I was going to marry (besides Christopher Atkins from The Blue Lagoon and Ryan O'Neal from Love Story). Even know I switch the channel over to reruns of SeQuest DSV just to see if he sends butterflies to my stomach. Sadly, I googled him up and found out that he ended his life on November 12 2003 at the age of 27. Johnathan, you will be missed. You're still hot.

*The Brunette* 7/26/2005


(0) Your Two Cents Go Here


NEW LAYOUT!!!

Good day,good readers! I've been working oh so hard on my new blogskin, so I hope you love it. Anyhoo, I need sleep. Goodnight (or good morning)!

*The Brunette* 7/26/2005


(0) Your Two Cents Go Here


FERGIE ADDICTED TO DRUGS

Our good ol' friend Fergie used to be addicted to drugs, according to MSN Entertainment. The singer claims she first got started in her 20s with Ecstacy and then moved on to the harder narcotics. Her life spun out of control and she also ran into financial problems. Fergie says she finally contacted her parents for help and that if it weren't for them, she'd "be on the street or in a mental institution."
Hmm...this may explain her drug-fuelled sex dreams with late rockers, but who am I to say so?

*The Brunette* 7/25/2005


(0) Your Two Cents Go Here


MISS PIGGY QUOTE OF THE WEEK

After I posted the dreadful news of Miss Piggy and her Wardrobe Malfunction, I feel I must pay homage to the very glam and dynamic La Femme Pigita. Each week I will post a quote by her just to spice things up and make moi different from the rest.

'I always knew that I was destined for le top.'
~Miss Piggy

*The Brunette* 7/25/2005


(0) Your Two Cents Go Here


OH NO, MISS PIGGY!


Rudeness! Only someone with a cold, empty heart can take a photo of Miss Piggy suffering from a Wardrobe Malfunction and post it all over the net. I had to use my advanced Photoshop skills to cover her up and save her dignity. Listen up, bastard! Miss Piggy has been someone I have admired since I was in Princess Daycare. If you look up her bio, you will see that we're both very much alike. In fact, she's coming over tomorrow night for dinner and then a game of Yahtzee (Disney Edition).
If you're a sick, twisted pervert who gets off by looking at the female anatomy of the Sus scrofa, or S. domesticus (again, I'm a bright kid), then click
here
.
Sick, son of a bi-

*The Brunette* 7/25/2005


(0) Your Two Cents Go Here


MAN MASTURBATES IN PHOTO


Ok, this image was captured in both CNN and the New York Metro and it was suppose to depict hundreds of stranded, sleeping tourists in Cancun during the wake of the Hurricane Emily fiasco. What they didn't realize was that there's a man that's,how should I put this,"about to spill his seed upon the ground" in the very same photo. If you don't believe me, see for yourself.
*I also think the blond woman on his right is turned on by this. Look at the position of her right hand.

*The Brunette* 7/25/2005


(0) Your Two Cents Go Here


ROBOT SEX DOLLS

A more sophisticated sex doll has been created by a German inventor. These robots have electronic hearts that beat harder during sex, they also breathe heavily and have internal heaters to raise their body temperature. These aren't cheap though; the dolls are offered for a hefty £,4000 each (and if, for example, you're unsatisfied with your new sexbot's nunga-nungas be prepared to max out your AMEX). And get this-you can also control movements with a remote control! She can gyrate her hips at the touch of a button!
I can see all those virgin computer geeks jumping on a huge trampoline yelling "hurrah!".

*The Brunette* 7/23/2005


(0) Your Two Cents Go Here


BRAZILIAN WAX:THE VIDEO

Uh...I don't recall how I stumbled into this. Umm....enjoy? NSFW.

*The Brunette* 7/23/2005


(0) Your Two Cents Go Here


MALE CELEBRITIES IN THEIR BIRTHDAY SUITS!

NSFW. 'Oh No They Didn't' has posted pictures of male celebs in their full glory.
I have to say, I'm a little disappointed. I dated Heath Ledger way back during The Patriot, but suddenly I just stopped calling him. We didn't go anywhere if you know what I mean and thank God! Clive Owen looks pretty darn good (doesn't he always?)and so does Viggo Mortensen. I screamed when I saw Bruce Willis (not for the faint of heart) and ditto for Tom Cruise. Ben Affleck has the tiniest ass I have ever seen (and mine is pretty tiny) and that's not a good thing. My lover, Sir Geordan of Bluegrass has the greatest gluteus maximus on this planet but that's another story. If you scroll down the page, you can also see Brad Pitt and his member. Now THAT'S something to post on a Christmas card.
All in all, penises are funny looking.

*The Brunette* 7/23/2005


(0) Your Two Cents Go Here


PARIS HILTON IS A MESSY, DIRTY GIRL!

According to , Paris Hilton drove to a car cleaning service in Beverly Hills but they refused to clean her Land Rover. Why, you ask? Because it's nasty. Her car was full of magazines, make-up, cellphones, clothes and underwear galore. They had to turn her away because it's company policy not to touch personal items.
Whatever, they were smart not to touch anything. Everyone knows that when you come into contact with anything Paris has touched, there's a 99.9% chance that you'll end up catching an unknown virus and then dying a painfull and slow death. It's true; I learned it in 2nd year of med school.

I managed to find a picture. Something like this should be left closed.

*The Brunette* 7/23/2005


(0) Your Two Cents Go Here


LINDSAY LOHAN AND PAMELA ANDERSON CAUGHT IN LESBIAN ACT


Haha! Not really, but they sure look like a two college girls doing a little experimenting...

*The Brunette* 7/22/2005


(0) Your Two Cents Go Here


BREAKING NEWS!


Britney Spears is caught at recording studio with a BOTTLE OF WATER and an APPLE. Spears' publicist states," Britney has filed for divorce from Starbucks and Cheetos citing 'irreconcilable differences'. Finally, Fetus Spears can enjoy a well-balanced diet.

*The Brunette* 7/22/2005


(0) Your Two Cents Go Here


TINY MORSELS OF FUN!

-Seattle tops list of 'overpriced' U.S. cities.
-Have you heard of Haunted Pussy?
-Finally! The first crust-free bread is about to be released!It's called Hovis Invisible Crust.
-Umm...perhaps I'm just being mean but what the fak is up with Colin Farrell's new look?

*The Brunette* 7/22/2005


(0) Your Two Cents Go Here


YOU DON'T KNOW PSYCHIATRY, I DO!

*The Brunette* 7/21/2005


(0) Your Two Cents Go Here


KATIE HOLMES LOVES TO SHOW HER BREASTS

By witnessing this video, I can't help but believe that Katie is someone who's easily coaxed into doing things. No wonder she's fallen into Tom's trap. It probably didn't even take him long to persuade her. The conversation assumably went something like this:
"Hi, I'm Tom Cruise."
"Oh my God, Tom Cruise! I'm Ka-"
"I know who you are, Katie Holmes. In about two minutes, we're going to fall crazy in love with each other. You're going to change your name to Kate, my assistant Jessica Rodriguez will be following you around everywhere including the bathroom. You'll also forget the fact that you're a devote Catholic and follow Scientology with all your heart. I will also be a guest on Oprah and declare my love for you by pumping my arms, jumping on the sofa and shaking Oprah like a mother suffering from Post-Partum Depression would to her baby."
"Ok!"
He's a sly one.

*The Brunette* 7/21/2005


(0) Your Two Cents Go Here


AND NOW A SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE PRESIDENT

*The Brunette* 7/21/2005


(0) Your Two Cents Go Here


ANGELINA JOLIE AND BABY ZAHARA


This little critter is absolutely beautiful and oh so tiny! I want one. They're so wee and precious and smell like heaven. Well, most do anyway. My ex-boyfriend's (who's not very rich but goes to Oxford with a full scholarship, so he has potential) neighbour desperately needed a babysitter one night and I did it only to impress this boy (this is before we dated). He's the kind of guy who doesn't give a rat's arse about money or looks (I know!) but finds kindness and selflessness very sexy.
Anyway, so I'm babysitting this baby and suddenly, this THING I'm holding starts to cry and is flailing its arms and legs furiously. I put it down and it crawls away, towards the kitchen. Anyways, I leave it alone and let it do what it wants, thinking it maybe went out the kitchen door for a cigarette. I'm deep into the beauty section in the November issue of InStyle when suddenly, I hear this loud crash. I run (actually, I waited until was finished the mag) and walked to the kitchen to discover that Baby is playing in the GRABAGE. Somehow, it managed to open the cupboard underneath the sink and tip the can over. So anyways, I'm poking this baby with the end of a broom handle and telling it to go back to the living room, but it's not listening (I'm no psychologist, but I believe this baby suffers from ADD). I have to PICK IT UP and...oh gosh...BATHE IT! Baby smells like an alley in downtown New York.
Whatever, I won the boy. Again. So, cancel that baby order; I changed my mind.

*The Brunette* 7/21/2005


(1) Your Two Cents Go Here


DON'T PEE IN YOUR PANTS LAUGHING....



Too funny....

*The Brunette* 7/20/2005


(0) Your Two Cents Go Here


FERGIE WANTS "TRIPPY" SEX WITH JIM MORRISON


Black Eyed Peas starlet Stacey Ferguson aka Fergiedreams of having "trippy" sex with late rocker and my best friend's mother's first dessert in bed, Jim Morrison. By dessert in bed, I mean that Jim used to work as a Hagen Daz delivery boy. Lady Ellis of Sephora was PMSing whoreanusly and demanded dulce de leche ASAP, so her fiance Sir Ellis had called Hagen Daz on 74th and Stanley to have it brought over the Castle immediately. Jimmy, as he preferred to be called back then, showed up at Lady Ellis' bedroom door with 14 bars. Poor Jimmy tripped over Regina, Lady Ellis' cat and flew across the room onto the bed. Lady Ellis snatched the first bar and devoured it while Jimmy rubbed his ankle.
Tsk, tsk sicko. What did you think I meant?

*The Brunette* 7/20/2005


(0) Your Two Cents Go Here


FRANKIE MUNIZ ENGAGED


Yes, I'm as confused as you are. People magazine has just annouced that the Malcome in the Middle star is engaged to something he met sometime this spring. This gives enough evidence that aliens are taking over the planet and that Tom Cruise is responsible for all this chaos. Now if you excuse me, I have some hiding under my bed to do. After my pedicure.

*The Brunette* 7/18/2005


(0) Your Two Cents Go Here


MAN, SOMETHING THIS CUTE OUGHT TO BE ILLEGAL!

*The Brunette* 7/18/2005


(0) Your Two Cents Go Here


A PLETHORA OF PECULIAR HOLLYWOOD BABY NAMES

Forget the Jessicas and Jennifers. Veto the Michaels and Matthews. What's really hot right now is naming your little scalliwag iPod. Here are some really strange examples of what not to name your offspring if you really don't want them to get kicked in the stomach and then urinated on by their schoolmates.
-Zahara Marley Jolie(Angelina Jolie)
-Apple(Gwynthen Paltrow and Chris Martin)
-Seven(Outkast's Andre 3000 and Erikah Badu)
-Bamboo(Outkast's Big Boi)
-Coco(Courtney Cox Arquette and David Arquette)
-Denim(Toni Braxton)
-Puma(Erikah Badu)She must really love those shoes...
-Blue Angel(U2's The Edge)
-Phoenix Chi(Scary Spice Melanie Brown)
-Speck Wildhorse(John Mellencamp)
-Diva Muffin(Frank Zappa)Not surprised there...
-Audio Science(Shannyn Sossamon)WHOREANUS!
-Camera-For real?!(Tennis legend Arthur Ashe)

*The Brunette* 7/18/2005


(0) Your Two Cents Go Here


TWINS SEPARATED AT BIRTH


Looks like Britney has a new do. In my opinion, I think it's convenient that she opted for a shorter hair style conidering her new busy role as Momma Spears.Thanks to my lover, Sir Geordan of Bluegrass for the good eye!

*The Brunette* 7/18/2005


(0) Your Two Cents Go Here


TINY MORSELS OF FUN!

-New music videos out this week include:
Don't Lie by Black-Eyed Peas
Fearless by The Bravery
Only by Nine Inch Nails
Check out all the hotness in MuchMusic's High Rotation
-Jessica Simpson plans to adopt a baby. (Via MSN Entertainment News)
-I'm not surpised. The new Rob Zombie movie, The Devil's Rejects, made a fan vomit. Despite loving the film,one scene was so gory that she threw up in her mouth.

*The Brunette* 7/18/2005




THE PRINCESS HAS RETURNED

Sorry I haven't posted anything since what seems to feel like the Emancipation Proclamation but I've been busy and by busy I mean I've been vacationing in Biarritz with the Hollywood A list. Let's just say that I got a little bored with eating lobster picnics on the beach, having a 24-7 open bar in every single room of my $4500 a night hotel, and having Valentino personally dress me for every occasion. That man also does a really far-out Homer Simpson impersonation.

*The Brunette* 7/18/2005


(0) Your Two Cents Go Here


WHO'S THAT GIRL? ER...GUY

Adventures of the new-moneyed classless bitch from hell.Honestly, do we need another one? He goes on and on about Louis Vuitton and how we have never seen a real LV bag before, so that's why everything we see looks fake. He even has a blown up picture of his receipt to prove that his Louis Vuitton Denim Speedy bag is the real deal! What a moron! Meh, he's kinda glam though, I'll give him that.

*The Brunette* 7/08/2005


(0) Your Two Cents Go Here


JACKO AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY

Is there a connection between Willy Wonka and Jacko? "The longish black hair. The pale skin. The ornate suit jacket. The--how should we say?--less than traditional adult male speaking voice." The horror! The horror!

*The Brunette* 7/07/2005


(0) Your Two Cents Go Here


LONDON TO HOST 2012 OLYMPIC GAMES


The International Olympic Committee has announced that London has defeated Paris to host the 2012 Olympic Games. The last time Britain held the Olympics was back in 1948. The other losers are Moscow, New York and Madrid; they were eliminated in the first three rounds of the vote. I was going to nominate my country Burberryland for the Olympics,but I was too busy partying with other socialites. Those Bush twins really know how to throw a fabulous soiree.

*The Brunette* 7/06/2005


(0) Your Two Cents Go Here


ASHLEY OLSEN AND JARED LETO DATING?



According to Contact Music, Ashley and Jared are reportedly dating. The two have been spotted together in New York, where Olsen goes to school. The 19-year-old star is apparently behaving "like a giddy schoolgirl who has a new man". It drives me up the wall when celebrities are spotted together and the media immediately assumes they're dating. So just because I'm always seen with my hunky ex-model bodyguards, does that mean we're all dating? Er....wrong example.

*The Brunette* 7/06/2005


(0) Your Two Cents Go Here


JUS TO REMIND YOU OF WHAT KEVIN HAS DONE TO BRITNEY


*tear*

*The Brunette* 7/06/2005


(0) Your Two Cents Go Here


THE ANGELINA/JENNIFER BATTLE IS NOT OVER...


If you don't mind watching two beautiful, scantily clad women get into a Kung Fu cat fight in front of a tied-up Brad Pitt then this is for you!

*The Brunette* 7/06/2005


(0) Your Two Cents Go Here


ANGELINA TO ADOPT SECOND CHILD


Angelina Jolie has flown to Ethiopia to pick up an orphaned girl whom she will adopt. Jolie has named the infant Zahara Marley Jolie, who is less than a year old. Jolie has also stated that she and her adopted 3-year-old son Maddox are "very happy to have a new addition to our family."
Those two children are very, very lucky to have a mother that hot. Did I say hot? I meant nurturing. Nah, who am I kidding.

*The Brunette* 7/06/2005


(0) Your Two Cents Go Here


MY MILKSHAKE BRINGETH


A friend sent me this and I though it was rather amusing. I thought I'd share it with you since I'm a nice girl who loves to share. Haha! Now that's funny!

*The Brunette* 7/06/2005


(0) Your Two Cents Go Here


GOOD DAY, GOOD READERS!

Welcome to Burberry Brunette. I'm interested in making people's lives miserable and crushing their self esteem. Just kidding. My goal is to bring peace on earth and to remind readers that money isn't everything. Just kidding. Looks are.

*The Brunette* 7/06/2005


(1) Your Two Cents Go Here
Sillyness, Glamour and Hedonism

DISCLAIMER
Burberry Brunette is all about festivity. The content that is published contains rumors, speculation, assumptions, and factual information. Postings may contain erroneous or inaccurate information. The owner of this site does not insure the accurateness of any content presented on Burberry Brunette.


ABOUT MOI
Age: 21
Sex: Femme
*Burberry Brunette*


I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT
My Mac Powerbook, iPod, Diet Coke, Manzanilla Olives, Music, Nail Polish


I SIMPLY DESPISE
Smelly Utensils, Tickling, Soggy Bread


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SCRIPT BY:
The Brunette

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Welcome To Burberry Brunette! Enjoy with a Cosmopolitan! Don't Forget to Comment! *The Brunette*

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