Doesn't she look glam? Now, I'm not usually a jealous one but zing! Am I green-eyed right this minute! The come-hither look she's got going on-loves it! I remember when she got ready at my place for the MTV Video Music Awards and she's all like, "Does this outfit make me look fat?" and I was like, "Hello! You're Jessica frikin' Simpson. You look like my 1994 Happy Holidays Series Barbie. It's just that your dress looks like a cross between a slutty maid and a ship-wrecked whore." And then she's like, "Loves it, bitch!" and then I'm like, "Loves YOU, bitch!".
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